(Lame) Excuses

[None of the writing projects I’ve been working on lately are in good enough shape yet to go on the blog, so I thought I’d post something I wrote a while back (January 25, 2006) in the interest of having something fresh for anyone who might be keeping an eye on the site. This piece has been well received by most of the writers with whom I’ve shared it.]

Why I don’t spend more time writing:

• Because it’s too hard to do anything when I first get out of bed in the morning, and then I’m too busy for the rest of the day.
• Because by the time I’m winding down after all of the day’s activities, I’m too tired.
• Because even though there’s nothing (whatsoever) worth watching on television, I park myself in front of the TV for at least five or six hours a week.
• Because I’m too busy trying to get laid.
• Because even though I’m thoroughly bored with my ordinary work, while I’m doing that work, I know what I’m supposed to be doing.
• Because no one is breathing down my neck waiting for me to write something—usually.
• Because I’m having too much fun.
• Because I’m not having enough fun, so the idea of sitting down at my writing desk is depressing.
• Because I have no good ideas.
• Because when I have good ideas, it’s never a convenient time to stop and write them down.
• Because when I have a good idea and I happen to have my Palm with me, it stops being a good idea as soon as I make myself a note about it.
• Because I ignore all of the good ideas that I’ve saved in my Palm.
• Because most of the other writers I know are much better than I am.
• Because some of the other writers I know are dismally bad.
• Because I spend too much time reading.
• Because I spend too much time thinking about writing.
• Because it might turn out that I have nothing of value to say.
• Because there are so many good writers.
• Because I have no secrets that would interest anybody else.
• Because I have too much to hide.
• Because it’s hard.