It’s going to be different this time. I’m going to be more patient with my next creation. I’m going to play the “merciful and just” role instead of the “angry and vengeful” thing. I’m not going to give them tests they can’t help but fail. I’m not going to throw temptation in their way every time they turn around, then blame them when they fall. I’m not going to demand sacrifices—no first-born sons, no bloody, smoldering animal parts, no prophets or messiahs to be swallowed by whales or nailed to crosses. I’m not going to require them to glorify me. I’m not going to ask anything of them at all. I’m going to recognize their limitations and try to be okay with it. I’m not going to shroud myself in mystery. I’m not going to leave any doubt about how many of me there are. There’s just the one. I’m not going to confuse them with thousands of different names. I’m not going to ask them to call me by a name they’re not allowed to say out loud. I’m not going to appear to them in many different forms. I’m not going to confuse them with contradictory revelations. I’m not going to dictate any holy writ to unreliable scribes. I’m not going to punish them for doing things that come naturally. I’m not going to move in mysterious ways. I’m not going to help those who help themselves. I’m not going to get into any pissing contests with Satan. I’m not going to cast out any angels. I’m not going to expel anyone from any gardens. I’m not going to tell anyone what they can and can’t eat. I’m not going to decide who shouldn’t sleep with whom. I’m not going to tell them what to wear or say or sing or what day of the week to rest. I’m not going to call anything an abomination. I’m not going to write any rules on any stone tablets. I’m not going to ban the fruit of any tree. I’m not going to ask for tithes, or confessions, or burnt offerings, or foreskins, or crusades. I’m not going to rule out graven images. I’m not going to expect them to honor their parents. I’m not going to forbid them to steal or covet or kill. I’m not going to proscribe how, or when, or where they should worship me. I’m not going to ask for any worship at all. I’m not sending anyone to heaven or hell. I’m not going to create a heaven or a hell. I’m not going to worry about whether they love me. I’m not going to be their personal savior. I’m not going to require them to be born again. Once is enough. I’m not going to create the world in six days. I’m not going to create man in my own image and likeness. If I look at my handiwork and see that it’s good, I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.
Author’s note: Write a text that begins with the lead line, “It’s going to be different this time….”
See also 50/50 Exercise #37: Wrong and Right.
© 2008 Edward F. Gumnick
WOW !!
Even though I knew where you were going early on I was transfixed, had to continue reading, taken in by the list of our interpetation of god and all the requirements we have made in his/her name. very thought provoking. creates an image for me of a very tired god trying to help us get it right this time. the effect is like turning a shirt or glove inside out.
Funny, Rosa says “the image of a very tired God” but I got the image of a middle aged God. A God who did all the things a youngster does who believes in life as a black and white proposition. This to me was a description of God who has figured out life is really lived in shades of gray, and black and white edges just gets people hurt.
It is interesting to think of God as deciding that the first pass wasn’t working, and is ready to issue Creation.2 – a very interesting thought, indeed. Gayle
WOW II! As a card-carrying Episcopalian, I find this a fascinating vision of God! No wonder She’s tired! You have an incredible gift with words…and despite your list of “things in which you don’t believe”, your writing is filled with an understanding of those things…I confess to having to look up “iconoclast”, and Webster’s gave me: 1) One opposed to the religious use of images of advocating the destruction of such images; 2) one who attacks and seeks to destroy widely accepted ideas, beliefs, etc. All of that “attack and destroy” language doesn’t sound at all like the Ed I met…and my intuition says you weren’t just being nice because I was Gayle’s mother! Reading your work makes me want to come to Houston so we can actually have a two-way conversation about your writing…I hate computers!
PS — Just looked back over your text and LOVE the line: “I’m not going to leave any doubt about how many of me there are. There’s just the one.” I’ve believed this for a very long time…all of us fighting over doctrine and what to call God and killing in His/Her name is an abomination for ALL religions…but your words make it so simple.
There’s just the One. (Sorry, I still capitalize that!). If only everyone in the world could GET that.
Hi, Mrs. G.! What a delight it is to read your comments! Thanks for your generous words.
You’re right, all that “attacking” and “destroying” makes me sound pretty harsh. I prefer this definition:
Although I’ve cast off most of the artifacts of my Catholic upbringing, I try hard to take a “live and let live” attitude as long as other people’s dogma and ritual are 1) mostly harmless and 2) not based on anything blatantly ignorant or patently false.
I try to keep an open mind. (Really, I do! Ask Gayle. She’s seen my open mind in action!) But it’s amazing how many people there still are in this 21st-century world whose religious beliefs and practices can’t hold up to those two simple qualifications.
And a lot of my iconoclasm is aimed at targets other than religion—popular culture, mainstream politics, free-market capitalism, TV, consumerism, astrology, insurance companies, McDonald’s, Wal-Mart…. We have a lot of icons that need smashing in this world!